Last night I called my mom to have her put my sister on birth control because she was being unwise by sleeping around with her stupid little boyfriend.
First boyfriend she's ever had and she decides to have sex with him. Screw that noise. I don't want my little sister getting pregnant at sixteen.

It all spiraled out! My dad hates me beause I told my mom this. And it was my sisters "special news" to my dad. So, somehow I became a stupid, fat, backstabbing, little bitch. In the words of my father of course.

Then he thinks that I've been going around telling his family that he's doing drugs, and not trying to get help for himself so on and so fourth because my mom is telling him that I am.

I don't believe this crap. I'm sorry that I care about my little sister. I don't want her throwing her life away for some dumb boy. Exspecially the first one she's ever dated. She's already in college classes and she's starting to spiral. She's now drinking and having sex. I don't want that for her. I know she's better than that and her little boy toy is the one that talked her into doing it.

In turn of my worry, I'm never allowed to speak to my little brother and sister again. I'm a "bad influence" on them. I'm hardly around because my parents are on drugs and they say that I'm a bad influence?

I moved out because my parents were doing hard core meth, popping pills, and snorting coke, and I'M THE BAD INFLUENCE?!

They shouldn't be doing that crap around the kids. Even after going to jail for a really long period of time they're still not getting it?

And then on top of that I'm a worthless piece of crap because of the fact I was never around for that reason. Now, if your father; someone you feel very close to sits down with you and asks you to eat some of his meth just to make sure it wasn't salt, that you'd be okay with things and you would still live in that same house.

Would you live in a house where your mother is having withdrawls and you're trying to help her stay calm and she ends up beating the crap out of you?

Would you live in a house that was revolved around drugs, violence, and abuse?

I don't think many of you would choose that life.

But somehow I'm the horrible person because I'm 17 yrs. old and I dropped out of school so I could stay home and watch my brother so I was able to send my little sister to school? I'm horrible because I want her to have a good life and keep her head on straight?

I'm backstabbing because I brought up the fact of birth control?
They shouldn't be allowing a 16 yr. old to have her boyfriend live in that same house.
They did it with me and look what happened?

Granted, I'm not throwing anything away to be with him, I'm getting alot more by leaving my parents behind and working, and having my own place.

How am I the horrible person by trying to protect my sister?
How am I the horrible person for doing nothing wrong?

When I was little my mom was the only one that I had until I was 4 years old. Those are the years that count most in my book because of early development.

Then she married my step dad and things got worse from then on.

My mom was sober before she got back together with him.
My mom went to church every week.
My mom was off of welfare.
My mom took care of me.

Now, she doesn't want me in her life because I don't approve of what she is doing.
I don't give her money to support her habit.
I won't have kids and make her a grandma.
I don't come and visit because her house is chaos and she's always on dope.
I won't come live with her and give her money for rent.

I think it's all total bullshit.
Out of the people that I care about in that house my mom was one of the main people that I cared about. Every person that talks to their mother has a certain bond with them that can't be broken.
Do you know how much it hurts when your mom says that she doesn't want you?
That she feels like you've abandoned her because you can't help her any more?
Do you know how much it hurts when she chooses drugs and sex over her own child.

She always told me that I was her miricle baby.
She wasn't supposed to have me because her uterus was split in half.
She's always told me that she never wanted to put me through hell.
She's doing the exact opposite.
I havn't cried this long and hard for a loooonnnng time.

My step dad is just a douch that needs to fall off the face of the earth and die. Granted he did bring me my sister but that was it.

This is all bullshit.
I'm just really sad...

End.